Lost Paradise
by annarose-ouat
Summary: Red is in her paradise with her true forbidden love, Beautiful Belle. Then she wakes. The two must find a way to be together, but avoid the destruction of their love and each other by the hand of Rumpelstiltskin.
1. Chapter 1

_She felt hazy; not normal but yet at the same time like she could stay in this state forever. There, lying beside her on the green grass was Belle, with a smile on her face and turquoise eyes looking lovingly into her own. They lay in the sun, but under a tree, in a perfect state of bliss. The warmth wrapped round them at the perfect temperature, and a cool breeze played with their long hair. The tips of Belle's tresses brushed Red's cheek and she blushed at the thought of how happy it made her. Red closed her eyes and smiled as she felt Belle link her delicate fingers through her own. Red squeezed her secret love's hand gently, tracing the lines of her hand with the tip of her finger. Eyes still closed, Red brought Belle's hand to her lips and kissed it once then opened one eye, inviting a response. Quickly, Belle surprised Red by rolling on top of her, maintaining their linked hands. Red opened her other eye to fully sink into her love's ocean eyes._

"_My turn," Belle whispered, and leaned in close._

And then Red woke up.

Alone, in her bed at 2:54am according to the clock beside her. Red sat up straight, reeling slightly from her most wonderful dream with Belle yet. Reliving the dream the most beautiful woman in the world as far as Red was concerned lying next to her, in that perfect state…feeling more alone than ever, Red sat up in her bed, pulled her knees up to her chest, and then, hugging her lonely self, Red cried for the heaven she had just lost.

"Why can't we just be together?" she whispered brokenly to herself, tears blurring the vision of her dark room, making her voice quiver. "Why can't we just be happy?"

Lying back down in defeat, burrowing under her covers, Red let down her guard and wept for the first time since she had fallen for Belle; Beauty. Beautiful Belle. Red pressed her duvet to her mouth, failing to muffle the heart-wrenching sobs echoing through her room. And Belle, tears silently streaming down her beautiful face, stood in the hall next to the crack in Red's bedroom door, wondering what to do next. It wasn't Belle that was hurting Red; it was the mere fact that they could not possibly be together, else Rumpelstiltskin would surely destroy not just their relationship, but both of them too; Red out of jealousy, and Belle out of the pain of betrayal. So struggling to keep quiet enough to escape Red's wolf hearing, Belle fled back to her bedroom and fell on her bed, identical to her lover, drowning in tears and the despair of their situation. The two women forbidden by fate, cried for their outlawed love. Belle was quicker to sleep once more, but Red, slowly emerging from beneath her duvet, gazing sadly out her blurred window, took much longer; the dream still lingered in her memory. But time passed and as fatigue took over the sobs faded to snuffles, and Red, feeling more miserable than ever finally fell back to sleep, hoping with all her heart she would return to her paradise.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The next day, Red got up later than usual only to find that Belle had done the exact opposite and headed off to the library early. She let her be until lunchtime and when Red couldn't stand another moment without seeing Belle, she quickly put together a few sandwiches in cling-wrap and iced teas in their takeaway cups, made up some lame excuse to Granny about dropping off Belle's lunch and practically ran to the library.

It took her all of a few minutes to get there, take a moment to catch her breath outside, and then slip through the door. Red expected to see Belle manning the front desk as usual, but she was nowhere to be seen. Red grinned to herself, and setting the basket down behind the desk, she began a silent man-hunt for Belle among the shelves. It didn't take long to find her so Red stayed hidden for a moment and admired the way her Beautiful Belle moved. Every move she made was dainty, perfect, graceful, and yet so strong and confident at the same time. Straightening from her crouch behind a bookshelf, Red snuck up behind Belle and slipped her arms around her waist, pulling her close. Except instead of turning around and kissing her, like Red wanted, Belle's body tensed and she wrenched herself out of Red's arms with such force that she fell over.

"Red, don't do that to me!" she gasped, hand over her heart and breathing heavily. "You almost gave me a heart attack," Belle accused her, ignoring the hand Red offered, standing up and smoothing her navy dress. Red let her hand fall to her side as she read Belle's body language. Before, she had been relaxed, comfortable. Now she was tense, nervous and not meeting Red's eyes.

"Belle, what's wrong?" Red asked, confused. She moved closer to take Belle's hand, but the beauty moved back and looked away towards the floor. Red stepped back, hurt and more confused than ever. "Belle?"

Unwillingly, Belle glanced up into Red's eyes and almost lost her composure. She was shocked to see tears threatening to overspill onto Red's cheeks; Belle couldn't stand the thought of making Red cry. _Don't stop now, you can't ruin it now, you're too far ahead_, she told herself. Belle took a deep breath.

"Red… I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but we can't be together." There, she said it. Oh gods, Red was crying. Actually crying, in full light of day! Belle hated herself for what she was doing to the woman she loved, but Rumpelstiltskin's voice crept back into her mind: _"The only way I'll ever allow you two to be together dearie, is in the afterlife. So get yourself together, dearie, and break her heart to save her."_ Belle gritted her teeth; the next part would be the hardest.

"Red, I don't love you." Red gasped; her heart dropped and her face crumpled as she tried, and failed, not to cry.

"Belle, please…" she whispered. Belle's beautiful face stayed hard as stone as she continued.

"What we had… what we _did_ I should say, was fun, yeah, but I don't love you. It was just a distraction and now that I'm back on my feet, I'm letting you go." Red's heart shattered; it was like losing Peter all over again. Red sank to her knees sobbing outright, her hands covering her face. She didn't see Belle's clenched fists her watery eyes, or her constant swallowing to keep the tears from escaping. Belle let Red cry for a few minutes, and then knelt down beside her.

"Come on Red, this isn't you. You're stronger than this," she told Red, who quieted down. Belle put her hand on Red's shoulder. "You will get through this."

"No I won't!" Red lashed out, striking Belle on her opposite shoulder, knocking her to the ground. Belle stayed where she fell, shocked into scared silence. Red stood and glared down at Belle, the woman she thought she loved. "I love you," she screamed at Belle. "I love you and then you go and rip my heart right out of my chest; you promised you wouldn't do that! You PROMISED!" Red's face was agony to behold; hurt, anger and betrayal written all over it, but Belle forced herself to look, and not to cry. "I can't believe you, Belle, I loved you." Red's face turned pleading, so Belle quickly jumped in.

"But I don't love you, Red. I do not love you."

A look of intense pain flitted across Red's face before it turned completely hard; a look Belle had never seen on her true love's face before. From the ground, looking up at Red, Belle was truly afraid.

"I hope you never love again, Belle. I don't love you anymore, I hate you, I hate you! Go find Regina and rip out some more hearts, go back to Rumpelstiltskin; everything comes at a price, is that it? I hate you!" And with that, Red turned on her heel and fled quickly as a wolf. The library door slammed and Belle was left alone. She sat in the silence, her mind completely shocked and frightened at what had just happened. Tears filled her eyes as she realised Red, her Red, the headstrong, amazing, beautiful woman she loved with all her heart was gone, and would never love her again. The realisation swept over her; Belle stayed on the floor and a single tear slid down her beautiful face.

"Oh gods, what have I done?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Red stormed away from the library as she angrily brushed her tears away. She marvelled at the fact that she used to believe Belle never would, never could hurt her. It seemed that it was one of her specialties, believing the best in people, and then being hurt by them. Red strode into Granny's, and ignoring Granny's surprised and concerned look shot in her direction, headed straight out the back door into the deserted parking lot. She leant back against the wall of the building and slowly sank down, disbelief and anger giving way to hurt and grief. Mirroring the previous night Red pulled her knees up to her chest, hugged them tight, and then resting her head on them, cried. She cried for her foolishness and believing someone as beautiful and wonderful as Belle would actually want all of her forever. She cried for her loneliness, for her lack of friends to comfort her.  
"Come back Snow, I need you," Red whispered brokenly. "I need a friend right now." A crunch on the gravel made Red look up in the hope that somehow Snow had actually returned, but was disappointed to see a cat stalking the tree across from her. For what felt like the millionth time that day, Red wiped her tears away and thought about what had happened. If Belle perhaps did still love her..._why would she do what she did?_ Red immediately knew the answer.

Rumpelstiltskin.

As soon as the name entered her head, the more Red thought it through, it became more and more clear to her that Belle was only doing this because of the threat Rumpelstiltskin made against her! _That twisted creep,_ Red thought savagely. _It'll be ok Belle, I'm on to him. I will not let him hurt you or me, and we can still be together._ Red picked herself up, dusted the gravel off her pants and back, avoided going back through the restaurant by going around the building, and headed back to the library with new determination in her heart.

Belle felt even worse when she found the sandwiches and iced teas stashed behind the front desk at the library. She left them there, avoiding anything that would bring her time with Red to the front of her mind. Belle tried to convince herself that she did the right thing, but the look on Red's face... _If it was the right thing to do, then why do I feel so terrible?_ Belle didn't mean a word of what she'd said, except the part about Red being strong. She was strong; the strongest person Belle knew.

Belle went back to her books, slowly stacking them, not even really concentrating on what she was doing, her mind still on Red and her misery. _You should have been stronger,_ she told herself. _You should have fought for her; true love is worth whatever Rumpelstiltskin can throw at us!_ Belle sighed heavily.  
"Belle?"  
Belle whipped round in surprise at hearing Red's voice, and immediately backed away from Red, fear and shame gnawing at her insides. Red reached out her hand and moved closer, and Belle flinched. It dawned on Red; Belle was _afraid _of her.  
"Oh no, don't worry Belle I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not," Red said, backing away, pleading Belle to understand. "I just... I'm so sorry for striking you like I did; I was angry and when I'm angry the wolf in me comes out more," Red told her beseechingly. Red locked eyes with Belle, and in that moment, a thousand thoughts went through Belle's mind.  
_ Now! Just tell her the truth!  
But I can't; I can't let Rumpelstiltskin hurt her..._

_ You can get through it, just tell her...  
But he'll kill us...  
Tell her!  
I can't do this...  
TELL HER!  
_ "Red, I love you!" Belle burst out, and with it came an overwhelming sense of happiness; a great weight lifted off Belle's shoulders and she dissolved into tears of relief. Red's face transformed; her eyes lit up and a glorious hopeful smile graced her beautiful mouth, looking like this was too good to be true. Belle crossed the empty space between her and Red and pulled the stunned but tearful tall brunette into her arms, and held her close. "I love you Red, I love you, I truly love you with all my heart," Belle repeated, over and over. Belle could feel Red's body shaking in her arms, and when Belle went to pull away, Red only held on tighter.  
"I'm so sorry, Belle," Red cried into her shoulder. She clung to Belle like a child; she was terrified at the thought of losing her Beautiful Belle once more. "I'm so terribly sorry, I was so stupid I couldn't see that Rumpelstiltskin was behind all of this; please don't hate me, I love you."  
The two women sank to the ground, still clutching each other, unwilling to let the other go for a second. Belle stroked Red's long brunette tresses, letting her cry, letting her get it all out. She was aware that Red took betrayal and trust extremely seriously, and that she felt completely turned upside down that she had, in her mind, done exactly that to the person she loves.  
"It's ok Red, we're fine, everything is fine," Belle soothed her, and the sobs lessened. Red appeared from the crook of Belle's now-wet shoulder, teary-eyed and sniffing. Belle couldn't help but smile; Red was still beautiful even after all the tears shed that day. She cupped Red's cheek in her palm and brushed away a stray tear. Then she kissed Red on the cheek. Belle kissed all the tear tracks, all the tears; every spot on Red's face. "Red, I love you," Belle said lovingly. "What I did to you was terrible and I'll never stop being sorry for that, and I'm sorry I wasn't stronger for you-"

Red started to interrupt but Belle put a finger to her lips. Red fell silent.

"I want you to know I'm going to be strong now. Rumpelstiltskin can't touch us if we stay strong together; we have true love on our side, right?" Belle arched a perfect eyebrow, and Red reluctantly smiled.  
"Right." Red leaned in close and kissed Belle, putting all of her love and protectiveness for her true love into that kiss. Red ran her fingers through Belle's hair, cradling her head in her hands. Belle did the same, eyes closed in pure bliss. Then their magic moment ended, all too quickly in Belle's opinion, and she opened her eyes. "Why did we stop?" she asked, sitting back and looking at Red. Red's face was drained of colour, her eyes wide; she was petrified. "Red, what's wrong?" Belle grasped her by the shoulders. "Red, look at me!" But Red did not look at Belle. Her eyes were focused on something beyond Belle, behind her. What Belle heard next sent shivers up and down her spine and not the good kind either. It was a voice.  
"So then dearies, you've made your decision."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Belle had never been so terrified in her entire life. She turned slowly, not wanting to see what Red was staring at, but knowing she was just prolonging the inevitable. There stood Rumpelstiltskin: the man she once loved. His gold eyes were on fire; his expression looked like it could destroy a city block with one blink. He looked ready to kill.  
"Rumple..." she began, slowly standing in front of Red. Her fingers closed around Red's wrist, and she squeezed it.  
"No, Belle, NO!" Rumpelstiltskin roared, swiping his hand across the air between them. Red was wrenched out of Belle's grasp and propelled by an invisible force into the wall at the end of the row. Belle screamed and watched, frozen in place by magic and horrified, as Red struggled to get up and make her way to Belle. She made little progress. Rumpelstiltskin stepped forwards, pushing the magic towards Red. Belle's true love flew backwards against the wall again, and this time she fell to the floor, sprawled at awkward angles, and did not move. She started towards her love, her Red, but something invisible stopped her.  
"No, Belle, nothing from you!" Rumpelstiltskin raged, swiping his hand across again, steadying himself on his cane, grasped firmly in his other hand. Belle was lifted into the air by Rumpelstiltskin's magic by her throat. It did not take long for Belle's face to go from white to red to purple to nearly blue, all the while her eyes pleading with him to _please, Rumple, stop, I'm sorry, please, let me go, PLEASE!_ Rumpelstiltskin did not care. His heart burned, scorned by love and his eyes glowed with hate.

Rumpelstiltskin's rage completely overcame him. His fist tightened, Belle's eyes became glassy and rolled back into her head. Her head lolled limply and her face turned grey, but still Rumpelstiltskin did not release her. Suddenly, an arrow pierced straight through Rumpelstiltskin's hand. He hissed in pain, and his magic was released, no longer holding Belle up in the air. Belle dropped to the ground, completely still.  
"You stay away from them!" yelled a new voice.  
_...Granny?_ Red opened her eyes, blearily recognising her granny's voice. She saw her grandmother approaching Rumpelstiltskin from behind, crossbow in hand. _...Granny! Granny, stay away from him!_ Red tried to warn her but no sound came from her lips. Red's eyes moved from Granny to the crumpled heap on the floor in front of him. _Belle!_ A surge of adrenaline shot through Red, and she managed to climb to her feet and make her way towards Rumpelstiltskin and Belle.

Rumpelstiltskin rounded on Granny and was about to deal to her when he was tackled to the ground from behind. He let Red turn him the right way up and pin his arms beneath him; better to let her think she had the upper hand, or in her case, 'paw', over him.  
"You think you can best me, dearie?" he cackled, and Red punched him full on the nose. It made a sickening _crunch_, and Rumpelstiltskin hissed in pain. "Everything comes at a price, dearie, even true love." And with that, he vanished from beneath Red.  
"Argh!" Red let out a growl of frustration, got to her feet and kicked at a fallen book.  
"Red, are you ok?" Granny came over and stood beside her. Red pulled away and sat beside Belle.  
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine, we're both fine," Red said, more to herself than Granny. She took Belle's hand in hers and put her other hand to Belle's cheek. "Belle, wake up beauty." Belle did not move. Panic seized Red as she realised Belle was not waking up. Her face had no colour; Belle was not moving at all…

"Granny, help!" Red gasped, and her grandmother appeared next to her. "She's not moving, what do we do?" Red grabbed Belle by her slack shoulders and shook her. "Belle, wake up, don't leave me, wake up!" Granny leant over her and pushed Red away, completely focussed. Red sat back and covered her mouth, heart beating wildly, worst-case scenarios playing around her mind.

"Belle, honey, wake up, come on now," Granny murmured and then, to Red's shock, slapped Belle full across the face.

"Granny!" Red scrambled forward and shoved her grandmother out of the way, away from Belle. Red stared at Granny at anger, but whipped around, startled, as she felt a weak hand brush by her wrist. Red's gaze immediately softened as she leaned over Belle and held her face gently in her hands, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs. "Come on, Belle, wake up..." Belle's eyelids fluttered, then opened, and Red breathed a sigh of relief. Red saw her love's beautiful ocean eyes focus on her and breathe a sigh of relief. "Belle, are you ok? What did he do to you?"  
Belle's eyes filled with tears and she sat up, holding Red's hands on her cheeks, unable to answer. Leaning into Red, all pretences of strength forgotten, Belle cried.  
"He held her in the air by her throat, strangling he; he almost killed her," Granny answered hoarsely from behind them. Red wrapped her arms around Belle and rocked her gently back and forth; they fit together perfectly. Red knew it was tearing Belle apart having to hurt and be hurt by Rumpelstiltskin; she still felt bad for falling so completely for Red.

Belle could feel herself shaking, and she clung to Red, terrified she would leave her if Rumpelstiltskin threatened them again.  
"Red... please don't leave me," Belle wept into Red's shoulder. "No matter what, not ever."  
Red stroked Belle's hair, comforting her as best she could.

"Belle, I'm here, I'm not leaving. I love you with all my heart; nothing can separate us." And despite their earlier fight, Red meant it with all her heart. She made a vow to herself: _No matter what Rumpelstiltskin says or does, we stay together. True love is worth it. Our love is worth it._ Holding Belle in her arms, Red knew it was true.


End file.
